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Fat mentality. It something that followed me to my adult life from childhood.

The environment I grew in taught me that it was bad to be fat and I was the overweight kid. I loved food and still do.

I got bullied a lot and told that I didn’t deserve to live, because I was bigger than everyone else, while my sister got praises for being skinny and pretty. That made me think that you have to be skinny to be good looking and a person of worth existing.

Even though I did sports and was good at it, I never lost weight or the fat on my body.

When I hit my teens I lost weight (not on purpose but the puberty did it’s ”magic”) and people praised me for it, which I don’t think should be something to praise for, but I still felt that I was fat and ugly.

I have always known that my bone structure is bigger than a ”normal” person would have but it hasn’t helped me to get rid of the fat mentality that has grown onto me, because society and social media categorizes you fat if you don’t fit their standards. No exceptions for people who would look anorectic even if their weight is 60kg.

I, myself believe in body positivity (or is it a way of life or how do you phrase it…) and I think that overweight and fat people are beautiful and deserve love and kindness too, but somehow it’s super hard for me to learn to love the fat on the body of my own. It’s partially that I’m a trans man and trans men don’t really have body positivity.

Many trans men, including myself, have this stupid pressure to pass in the eyes of society and try to look hyper masculine when not all the cis-men look like that.

But being skinny doesn’t really make you pretty or bring happiness. Many people say that they felt more insecure trying to be skinny than just focusing on themselves. People shouldn’t even define themselves or their happiness by the standards of the society in the first place. Instead, they should do the things that they love and wear clothes that make them feel good instead of worrying how everyone else perceive them.

Sorry for lack of picture and a long text, but I hope you had a great day!

Tagit: bodypositivity, fat mentality, fat shaming, food, mental health, selflove, society's standards.